Wednesday, 23 July 2008

some definite facts

We've decided to have some of whatever those chaps allegedly in charge of England are having.
It's nice actually.

So. Some things we now know:
  • Darren Pattinson is actually the new Curtly Ambrose. It's obvious. They even look alike.
  • Andrew Flintoff is capable of winning every single match he is involved in, just by merely turning up and spitting glitter at his opponents and baffling them with his sharp wit and intellect.
  • Michael Vaughan is actually made entirely of cardboard, and has a saturday job in Curry's. He supports Real Madrid for rugby.
  • If you are Australian, you can play for any country in the world. Except Australia. Likewise if you are South African.
  • Stuart Broad is too ugly to play for England.
  • Chris Tremlett really enjoys travelling around the world to carry drinks for his friends and colleagues. He especially likes Freddie going out to bat wearing his shirt.
  • ABCDEvilliers is an honourable fielder.
  • Matthew Hoggard is a roof tiler from Victoria.

A Cricket is actually just an insect. So we needn't get too worked up about it.
The England management don't seem to bother about it too much. That's the spirit.

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